New job

W00t!  I have a new job.  In a new branch.  I’m manager, but the staff is smaller, the hours are better, the pay is better, it’s in a cool neighborhood (yesterday was my first day, and at lunch I drove 2 minutes to a coffee shop and got a chai! Which means that when the weather’s nice, I could walk there!).  It is not without issues, but on the whole I think it’s going to be much better for my brain and heart.

Yeep!

3 comments November 11, 2008

Hmmm

SO.  Some changes are afoot, work-speaking.

But first, let me say that there is a father-type (his wife, 10-year-old, and baby are with him) in this coffeehouse and he is wearing a shirt that has a picture of a clown on it.  Ok, you say, goofy but whatever.  There is MORE to the picture, though.  This clown is bent over a toilet.  Throwing up a rainbow.  Can you imagine your dad wearing that?  I love it when hipsters procreate.

Ok, back to business.  I got a new job/promotion.  It’s still with the same system, but a different branch and I will be Manager instead of Assistant Manager.  Yeep!  The branch is smaller and closer to where I live and near a bunch of cool restaurants.  So I’m pretty stoked about the new place, but sort of feel like I failed at my current one.  It’s just so hard to get anything done up there – you can have weeks and weeks of relative calm and then BAM, something shitty happens that is scary and/or sad.  The problems in that area are just so huge that most of the time you just feel like the library’s a candle in the middle of a damn tornado.  I can’t help feeling like I’m giving up, though, which makes me really sad.  I just know I can’t live that emotional rollercoaster forever.

6 comments September 12, 2008

2 years

Today marks my 2 year library anniversary, so I thought I’d pause and do a little reflection on some of the more memorable things I’ve experienced. I’m going to try not to make them all D-pressing ones. )

1) You know what I love? Helping 10 year olds find books. I could do that all day long. I also have loved these little random trivia questions (‘I heard this song on the radio, I think it was called this, could you tell me the artist and the album?’). I also have loved shocking people with my knowledge of street lit (which is by no means extensive but still surprising when being delivered by a preppy white girl in this city).

2) You know what I hate? The peaceful days punctuated by extreme violence – being lured into thinking it’s calm, only to be sucker punched by someone actually punching their kid/girlfriend. Or worse. There are too many teenagers getting killed in my neighborhood. There are too many guns and too many drugs and too many gangs. It is emotionally exhausting.

3) Something else I love? The camaraderie of working with a small team of people that like helping patrons and really care about each other. Any little dramas within mean nothing when we’re faced with the outside dramas. Sometimes it has to be Us vs. Them, and I’m glad for the people I’ve got on the Us team.

4) Something else I hate? The sense that for most of these kids, what we’re doing is not making a damn bit of difference. They’ve already seen to much and gone through too much and been left behind by a system that gives them no skills or prospects of ever leaving the place they’ve been born into. They know the jig is up. And they’re angry. And I don’t blame them.

The place has changed me, made me older, wiser, more tired, more sad. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – it’s one thing to know some of this stuff goes in on the world, it’s another to know the names of the people it happens to. I won’t stay here forever, but I’m not sorry I’ve been here this long.

Add a comment June 13, 2008

Tracy Chapman

So there I was at work last night.  One of my poky little pet projects is going through and scanning all the cds to see how many have something weird about them (like being still on a patron’s record).  I was going through the Bs and Cs last night and discovered not one, but two letters tucked into Tracy Chapman cds – on the same paper and written in the same handwriting.  The first one I discovered I thought ‘huh, that’s weird, somebody left their love note in a cd case,’ because it really was all about how glad they were to have Tracy in their life and how she’s an angel and such.  Then (about a 1/2 hour later) I found the second, which was also addressed to Tracy and had more to do with God and stuff then about love.

So someone in the branch is writing letters to Tracy Chapman.  Which is one of the odder things I’ve come across, and definitely weirder than just still being checked out on someone’s card.

Add a comment April 1, 2008

scared straight

I have had one hell of a day.  It actually started last night, with the dog pacing, pacing, pacing, from about 1-2 am because of the thunderstorm.  So I woke up late (I don’t even remember if I set the alarm) but still managed to get out of the house on time and set off on the highway to get to work, which I knew would be busy because we’ve got both the elections and tax preparations going on this morning.  Unfortunately, as I puttered down the highway under more rain, my windshield wipers stopped, mid-wipe.  I should say that this happened before, last month or the month before, maybe, but it wasn’t so much raining then as it was just a dirty windshield, so I didn’t exactly deal with it like I should have.  But, now that it is actually raining, I didn’t have a lot of choice.  I got off the highway and went to call work to tell them I’d be late, only to realize that my phone had been shut off sometime in the last 24 hours because they need my money.   SO, there I am, in a part of town that I’m not totally familiar with, wipers paralyzed and no way to call anybody to tell them anything.  I can’t even just pay the bill over the phone because my account is jenky for some reason and the automated system won’t take my money.

So I get back to an area I know and for some reason my wipers start working again.  But the forecast says rain on and off all day, and I sure as hell don’t want to be driving back from work, in the dark and in the rain, and suddenly they stop again, so I go to a place I’ve taken my car before.  They tell me they don’t have the schematics for my car and suggest I go to a dealership.  The guy was nice, though, and let me use the phone to call my work.  THEN I went to the dealership way far south and sat there for about 3 hours, after being warned that a) if they were currently working they might not be able to figure out what’s wrong, and b) the diagnostic test is bare minimum 100 dollars.  After the 3 hours it turned out they figured out and fixed the problem and charged me the 100 dollars, no more, no less.  It was so frustrating though, sitting there, not able to call my dad for reassurance that I was doing the right thing, so I had to deal with this phone situation, another thing I’ve been pushing to the side.  So now I have a new contract, a new phone, and a new number and hopefully I won’t have to deal with the phone issues for awhile.

By the way, I did not get the job that I was wishing for.  Which is sad.  Apparently I was practically a shoe-in until they interviewed this mysterious outside person who shocked and awed them.  I really just wish that one of the interviewers hadn’t been going around telling people (like my boss’ boss) that she was 98% sure I’d be the one – it got my hopes up way too high.

3 comments February 5, 2008

interview

so i had my interview this week, and i left it, like usual, having no idea how i did.  it was a lot more formal than i expected it was going to be, which i believe is due to the management style and general temperament of the woman in charge of the department.  she runs tech services and used to be a cataloger, so she’s very rule-bound.  which is cool, i can respect that, i just wish i’d thought about that before i went.  i would have been a little more prepared.  i think i got to express how interested i am in the literature and how i think this job is just awesome, but there are areas that i don’t have as much experience in, and i admitted that, so who knows.  apparently there are at least two other internal applicants, so i’ve got awhile to find anything out.

i got back to work to discover that my boss had told everyone i was going for this other job in a staff meeting i missed.  this is upsetting to me.  she says it’s because she’s excited for me (and maybe she thinks i’ll get it) but i really feel like this is my business to tell and i have NO IDEA if i’ll actually get the job, and if i don’t then i’m just the girl who wants to leave.  it makes me feel all kinds of awkward.   between this and the white people comment it’s hard not to think she’s passive-aggressively swatting at me, which i really didn’t expect from her and don’t quite know how to handle.

1 comment January 13, 2008

New Year, New Stuff

Time for a list of things to do and be for the coming year:

HEALTHY:  This means going to the doctors I’ve been putting off like a) an optometrist, because I’m fairly certain I should be wearing glasses at least some of the time, b) a dentist, because I probably don’t need to be wearing these retainers that I’ve had in there since I got my braces off, and c) an orthopedic guy, because ever since the 1/2 marathon my knee has been jacked up whenever I run, which has resulted in me being lazy and my butt increasing in circumference.  I’ve been putting off these things because I don’t know how much they’re going to cost, but it’s time to suck it up and deal with them.

A BETTER FRIEND: To my family and friends, because I completely suck at phone calls.  I’m just bad.  And I want to be better, because there’s people out there that I love and miss, and they may have no idea because I don’t call and tell them that.

CRAZY ABOUT MY JOB: I put in for a different position at work, one in collection development that I think would be so rad.  I told my boss I was going to bid on the job, and she wished me well and said “well, you’ve lasted longer than most white folks here.”  Which kind of made me feel like crap, like I’ve gone and lived up to her low expectations.  But it’s not about leaving where I am, it’s about doing something I actually want to be doing, and I’m really very sure I don’t want to be a manager.  I can’t take the constant vigilance that it requires – you relax for one second and the punks start to think they can take over again.

So those are some pretty big goals.  Wish me luck.

2 comments January 2, 2008

Soooooo

Yeah.  I am the Assistant Manager now.  Although I would prefer to be assistant TO the regional manager, ala Dwight Schrute.  It’s been an odd transition – I’ve been working a weird schedule and it took a week to get my email moved over to my new desk, so I was still in the YS office.

It’s kind of a promotion and kind of not.  To the eyes of the rest of the people I work with, it is, because I’m now one of their supervisors, whereas before I was off in the land of YS.  But as far as the salary scale goes, it’s still the same grade as what I was doing before, so that hurt me when I was trying to negotiate for more money.

And OH that was a lousy negotiation.  Mostly because I wasn’t taken seriously.  And it made me so frustrated and annoyed that it sort of sullied this whole transition and put a damper on any sort of big excited announcement that I might have wanted to make.  So that’s why you’re hearing about this two weeks after I officially made the move.   I’ve cooled off and accepted it by now.

So I don’t know if I’m going to love or hate this new position.  I know it’s a great opportunity to learn from someone I really respect, and I’m pretty sure it’s going to look nice on my resume.  I haven’t had to get too ugly with anybody, either, so that’s good.  But it’s a long day ahead of me.

1 comment June 9, 2007

the time has come, the walrus said

Ok people, I have to make a decision here very soon. I could

A) stay in YS, try to perhaps broaden my horizons, be in a somewhat safer environment, but leave the coworkers I hold dear and the climate I’ve adjusted to

-or-

B) take a more managerial position, stay with the coworkers, gain valuable experience, but deal with a lot more crap from the unhappy public.

Option (B) might involve more money – as it should for all the extra crabbiness. Option (A) might be more fun, and safer does sound nice. Although I must be fair and mention that things are getting a LOT better in my current environment (aside from the occasional nastiness mentioned earlier this week). As my boss said, it really depends on where I see myself in this profession in 5 years. Do I want my boss’ job? Hell no. But it wouldn’t hurt to learn the management side of things. Would I miss the YS part? Some. But not all. The cutesy stuff can go no problem. But I do love children’s lit…..

Erp. The other thing is that I need to make a decision – I don’t feel like I can just float on my current title. So what do I do? Do I stay where I am, take on the responsibilities? Do I try for a place where I can get a more varied YS experience? I’m leaning toward staying, but the angry people issue is one to seriously consider.

1 comment April 30, 2007

Not a fire, but

Okey. So I really just need to stop it with the work-related optimism, because every time I feel the slightest hint that things might actually be getting better, some crap happens and I feel stupid for being optimistic.

The problem is that I naturally want things to work out.  It’s an inherent part of my personality.  So when things are calm and I feel like there’s some progress, I start to think ‘Hey, this isn’t so bad.  We could really actually be making a difference.’

Then something like last night happens.  A young-ish mother (with two ADORABLE and sweet kids) was in the building  Kids were on the computers, mom was moving back and forth between them and a table about 15 feet away.  Her purse was on the chair at the table.  At some point someone got her keys out of her purse AND STOLE HER CAR.   She was very zen about the whole thing: “It’s just material,” I and one of my coworkers were more enraged.  It just pisses me off.  It was especially bothersome (not the right word at all, but I am at a loss) that these were just plain nice people – I don’t think they’d even been up to our place more than a couple of times.  She thought that being 15 feet away from her purse was just fine.  I might have, too.  Eight months ago.

Add a comment January 26, 2007